Wednesday, January 8, 2014

c'est la vie

I guess I need to backtrack since I deleted some entries.

Back in July, Daniel and I had a heart to heart and decided it was time to add another child to our family of three. A few months later we found a fourteen year old boy that we fell in love with, and we started the adoption process by applying for a home study.

Not even 24 hours after submitting the application to Hawaii International Child (HIC) for a home study, we discovered that the plans to stay on Oahu for an additional tour fell through, and we would be leaving the island within a year.

I was heartbroken to say the least.

We knew that there would be no chance of us completing the home study, getting matched and placed with the child we fell in love with in less than a year, especially when we didn't even start yet!

Daniel went to work on his assignment, so at the very least I could stay on island with our princess (and hopefully our second child). He volunteered to spend a year unaccompanied at a less than desirable duty station.

Thankfully that was approved, but our relief was short-lived when we discovered we were not accepted by HIC due to our age. HIC's company policy required us to be looking for a child at least 21 years younger than us, so 5 or younger.

I called every social worker, lawyer, and home study outlet I could find on the island. Finally, I got in touch with the director of domestic adoptions at Adopt International. I explained our situation, and how we wanted to adopt an older child because so many of them give up on finding families when they also deserve one. She sent me the first step of the home study process that day.

We filled out the paperwork and were ready to go, until we discovered by the time we would be done with everything, Daniel would be getting ready to leave for his unaccompanied tour. There would be very little time left for matching and placement, if any.

If Daniel was here long enough to be matched, he would not have much time to spend with our future son, which would be a red flag for social workers. Children in the foster system already have attachment and abandonment issues. We would hate to make the process harder for the child than necessary.

So, with heavy hearts, we decided it would be in everyone's best interest to wait for his return to Hawaii before trying to adopt.

I was a bit of mess because I know we are facing a year apart for nothing. It would be different if we were able to bring our son home this year... but c'est la vie.

Instead, you'll see me posting a lot about what I am thankful for... WITH PICTURES!

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